So commuting to Rutgers leaves me a lot of time to kill which I didn't have while I lived in Demarest. I got so bored that I wrote this little story. Yeah.A Change of Heart
Pete awoke that day groggy and annoyed. Today marked another year at the university, just two more years and he would finally be free from school work forever. That thought excited him every time but for now, he needed a shower badly. He had not bathed in two days since he had gone traveling to St. Louis.
It had been a wonderful city and he had seen everything he wanted. The only problem was that the hostel he and his friend stayed in was horrible and he figured he could live two days without showering in that bathroom, not that he even cared to shower usually. No need to take any chances especially with school around the corner.
He thought about staying in bed a little longer. Since he was a commuter now, he had chosen to take afternoon classes so he wouldn’t have to rush in the morning. Even though he could sleep in, his alarm clock wouldn’t let him do that. That alarm clock being his two baby siblings. Each morning at seven they could be heard screaming and running around the house getting ready for the day. The noise could penetrate even the toughest walls Pete thought. So he got up to prepare himself for the day.
Pete hated showers usually, he could last for days without them. It was done more to please his overbearing father than for actual hygienic reasons.
“I’m off to take a shower and be nice and clean for ya,” said Pete to his father as he walked past him in the hall so that he wouldn’t be pestered later on whether he had taken one that day.
The only good thing about showers for him was that it gave him alone time to think, and think he did.
St. Louis had been an amazing experience and he had enjoyed it but one thing kept on bothering him in the back of his mind. His friend Mark had gone with him on the last minute. He was grateful to have company along but he still had some reservations about Mark.
Even though they got along well, and had a lot in common, when it came to women they were exact opposites. Pete was reserved and quiet usually around women. Most of the time he couldn’t even tell if a girl was flirting unless it was so blatant. It wasn’t that he didn’t like women, he had been with a few in the past, it was just that he enjoyed serious relationships. Being in St. Louis for four days and hooking up with women was not his ideal of something serious.
“That Mark,” Pete muttered allowed as he turned the water on. “He takes such advantage of his looks and plays this bullshit all the time.”
While Pete was reserved and hardly pursued women, Mark was an animal. Despite dating a girl back home in New Jersey, he had no reservations about hooking up on vacation. Mark had the ability to meet a girl and within hours be making out with her, or more. So on the first night when Pete had seen Mark leave the bar with a girl he had met only thirty minutes before, he wasn’t surprised. He just hoped that they would be finished by the time he got back to the hostel.
And they were.
“How can he just get with a girl like that?” Pete wondered. “It isn’t right.”
But that’s what bothered Pete so much. Why was it not right? Before he had believed that it was all about respecting women but he was starting to question that belief. Maybe girls were just as horny as men were?
He didn’t really know for sure. As he got out of the shower, he looked at himself in the mirror. Pete worked out and anyone could tell. His arm muscles were prominent and as a runner, his legs were hard to the touch. His skin was perfectly in the middle between brown and white. Women went to tanning salons hoping to get a shade of color that came to him naturally. Even though he wore baggy clothes which hid all his muscle, his face was enough to turn heads. This truth was something he had noticed and accepted only very recently. He was a handsome man.
Still though, his experience with women was few and often ridiculous. He had only been with three women in his life although he often told people only one. The first girl, Maria, had been a complete nutcase who would blame everything wrong in her life on him. Sometimes he would not speak to her for days at a time and when they did finally talk again, she still found something to blame on him.
The second girl, Diana, had been a completely different story. When they had first met, he was sure he was falling in love. Her lips were so luscious and feeling them against his felt so right each time. He had told her he loved her. It ended up being one of the few things he regretted doing in life.
“I’m not looking for a relationship,” was all she had said to him.
At the time, the concept had baffled him. Why anyone would want to just fool around when they could have someone who is always thinking about them was so foreign. He had been longing for that so much in his first relationship, but even getting a kiss out of that first girl had been a battle.
After he saw that Diana just used him for sex, and ended up falling in love with a man that hit her, he had a dry spell for a few years. He hardly payed any attention to girls. It was like flirting with a beautiful statue one girl had described it.
Pete was sure love didn’t exist, until one day he met a girl named Kate. There was nothing particularly pretty about her most boys thought, but that simple complexion about her was enough to drive him wild. Pete never was so sure why he had fallen so badly for her. Maybe it was because she didn’t hide behind tons of makeup like most girls do. Maybe it was because her body was not particularly voluptuous. At 5 9, Kate was only two inches shorter than Pete, and with a noticeably large nose and non-existent breasts, even she didn’t find herself beautiful.
Pete didn’t care, and within a week he had taken her to the woods and kissed her. As usual, when he put his mind to it, he could seduce a girl in a matter of minutes. With that relaxed attitude and smug smile, girls would give in easily. Knowing that made him uneasy and sad that girls would fall so easily, he had seen Mark do it all the time, but even he did it when a girl got his interest. Usually though he’d end up being disappointed that the girl was seduced so easily and refuse to have anything to do with her afterwards. All you end up doing is pissing girls off was what Mark had told him.
Kate was from Germany and was only in the country for three months doing some volunteer work for disabled youth. It was there that he had first met her. Despite knowing how futile the relationship would be, they fell in love with each other. Now she was gone, and even though they spoke on the phone occasionally, he knew he’d probably never see her again. That broke his heart even more than the second girl.
And here he was, alone again. At twenty years old, he still couldn’t claim to have ever really been a relationship. How could he? The closest thing to normal had been a girl who couldn’t even pronounce English words correctly.
“Whatever, I can’t be bothered right now with this crap,” Pete said as he started the car.
The first day of classes was starting, along with a brand new set of faces.
Part Two
The classes came and went. None of them seemed too challenging so Pete wasn’t worried. Just a little annoyed that his Hispanic Literature textbook had been $120.
As he walked around campus, he could see excited faces all around him. Old friends hugging each other, young couples holding hands, and confused freshman impatient for the party night to arrive. Out of that crowd was Pete, just trying to get through all the craziness that is the first week of college.
Most people who saw Pete walking around that day probably thought he was a grumpy old man in a young man’s body. The truth was anything but that. Pete enjoyed a popularity that came naturally and which others yearned for. His calm demeanor and style made everyone want to associate with him, much to his amusement at times. Many times people he didn’t even know would say hi to him, and he’d just smile back and wave. He was a nice guy and easy to hang with, just not during school hours.
As he walked past the student center, Pete heard a familiar voice call out to him.
“Pete, where have you been man?!” cried Ralph.
“Ah Ralph,” Pete thought to himself. “Finally someone I’m glad to see.”
When Pete had first started at the university three years ago, Ralph had been one of the first people he had spoken to. They were soccer buddies at first but afterward learned that they had much more in common than scoring goals. Here was one of the few friends who Pete actually made sure to keep in touch with.
“I’m doing well Ralph. Just got out of my computer science class. How is the old dorm doing.?”
“Its great bro, it’s a shame you have to commute to school now. The freshman are all fun and we haven’t had any drama yet thankfully.”
As they talked and walked, Pete found himself in from of Dem, his old dorm. It brought a smile to his face, this place he had called home two years past.
In front of the dorm was a large crowd. As usual everyone always hung out in the front. He recognized a few faces. There was Patrick with his banjo, Luke with his cigars puffing away, and a few others he knew.
There was an even bigger crowd of people he didn’t know though.
“Freshman,” said Pete. “There are a ton of them this year eh Ralph?”
“Yeah there really are. But hey man I got to run to class. Stick around later and we’ll play some FIFA on my Xbox. See ya in a bit.”
And before he could respond Ralph was gone, leaving Pete in front of the dorm. This was normal of Ralph. He was always running around late for some class so Pete was used to it. With that he sat down, said hello to the old crew and chilled. He was done for the day so he might as well catch up with the people.
While Pete was chilling, he couldn’t help but notice this one freshman girl. She had her hair wrapped up in a bun which helped conceal how long her hair was. She was short and curvy, a feature Pete was all too fond of. Pete didn’t realize he was staring until he looked at her eyes and saw they were looking straight at his.
Pete quickly looked away, embarrassed that he has done such a teenage thing. He was usually good at catching quick glimpses but he had been staring at her straight on. He pretended to pay attention to some freshman playing frisbee even when he saw her get up and start walking towards him.
“Hello, I’m Faith and who are you?” she asked.
“I’m Pete, I used to live here last year so I came to visit it.”
“It’s a great dorm, I’ve only been here for a day and already I am having so much fun. Why did you leave?”
“I commute now. It was too expensive for me so I drive to school. You’re going to have a good time at Dem. Many good memories here Faith.”
This type of idle talk between them ended up lasting twenty minutes. He was surprised at how friendly and open she was to him. When Pete looked at her eyes though he was all too familiar with what he saw. Her eyes looked intently at him, and he likewise. There were moments when they would just grin at each other. Pete, calm as ever but inside fighting all his fear, knew he had a shot. So he just went for it.
“What are you doing tonight?”
“I don’t know yet. Probably try and see if there are any parties. Do you want to come?”
“Bringing a guy with you to party is always a bad idea in college Faith. The fraternities won’t let any competition even enter their yard. I was thinking I could show you around campus so that you see all that there is to do around here.”
“That sounds good.”
That was all she said. Those three words were more than enough to tell Pete she was interested. Getting his flirtation skills on, he set up a time they would meet and then pretended that he had class. It was always good to get away after setting something up. It made the woman long for you even more.
With a huge grin over his face, Pete walked away. He had it all planned out in his head already. The only problem now was to figure out what to do for the next four hours.
Part Three
After an excruciating four hours sitting at the school library reading, checking email, and dozing off, it finally came time to head back. Pete grew excited at the thought of seeing her, but in the back of his mind, it just felt wrong. He had been with Kate for three months. He had told her he loved her and she likewise. The day he had dropped her off at the airport had been one of the most miserable he’d ever lived. His vision lay clouded full of tears the whole ride back home. Was it so wrong to be wanting another woman, so soon after being with Kate? The thought loomed over his head the whole walk back to Dem.
As he walked into Dem, he ran into Mike, another soccer buddy of his. Mike was just sitting on the stairs hanging out with some freshman boys.
“Che! How’s it going?” Mike screamed. Mike, whose father was from Argentina, liked calling Pete Che since he looked like the famous revolutionary whenever he got lazy and didn’t shave.
“I’m doing well Mike, just checking out the old dorm. We need to get the old crew back to play some soccer.”
“Of course Che. Hit me up whenever you are going to go play.”
Pete, smiled, nodded, and waved his hand goodbye. It was good to see Mike, but he had a goal that night.
As expected, her room door was open. Probably in expectation of his arrival. He had it worked out. He would walk past her room first, pretending he had forgotten where she lived. It was always a good sign when they got your attention. Not vice versa.
Pete walked past the room, looking somewhat lost even though he knew every nook and cranny in Dem. As soon as he walked past the door, he heard what he wanted to hear.
“Hey! Where are you going?” Faith said.
“Oh sup. This is your room? My bad I thought it was upstairs.”
The grin had returned to each of their faces. The look on her face was so obvious, he was tempted to kiss her right there. Can’t make a scene in Dem though Pete thought to himself.
The girl had been ready with her little black purse in her hand. Her hair was no longer wrapped in a bun but lay across her face as if she had been dancing all night. It may have looked messy, but the style actually worked on making her seem even more beautiful than before. She also wore black tights and a large black one piece that covered her up.
“Wow,” Pete muttered as they were walking out of the dorm. Along the way they passed by Mike again. In place of a grin now was a more serious face, staring into the distant horizon it seemed. Pete didn’t know if Mike was annoyed at him as he walked out of Dem with Faith. Their friendship had hit a bump in the road last year when a plan to help Mike out with a girl had backfired horribly. Mike said that he was over that girl from last year, but Pete sometimes got that feeling of jealous envy whenever Pete was hanging out with other friends, all of whom being girls. Mike was not an ugly fellow. He just didn’t know how to approach women. Pete wished Mike would stop thinking that he was such a flirt. It wasn’t the case at all for most girls really. This girl next to him was different though, Pete wanted more than a friend to talk to.
“So where around campus have you not been yet?” Pete asked.
“I don’t know really. This place is big.”
“Do you want to see the park? Its quiet and peaceful at night especially with a moon like this.”
“Okay.”
She was making this too easy.
Along the way they made idle chit chat to kill the time. It was a cool summer night with a full moon to light the way. It seemed everything was going along smoothly. Pete always wondered why these things always came easy to him. Nature was always on his side he felt.
No one was around as he walked her to Rosedion park. Despite being right next to campus, hardly any students ever took a stroll through the quiet park. It was one of the few places at the university where Pete could go and not worry about running into the hundreds of people he knew on campus.
Finally he reached the place where he would make his move. The playground was always an ideal place to kiss. It brought back memories of childhood and happiness. The ultimate place to set up the mood.
“So Faith, what do you hope to achieve this first year at the university?”
“I want to take advantage of everything that’s offered to me. Its only been a few days since I moved in and I’m already doing so much and have much more to look forward to. What about you Pete?”
It was time.
“I’ve done so much these past two years already. I think I’d like to meet a nice girl this year.”
As he said this, he moved closer to her. The grin on her face didn’t make Pete hesitate a minute. The lip gloss glistened under the moonlight, making her lips seem even more tempting than before. She didn’t say anything as his lips touched hers. She just gave in to her fantasies as did Pete. Forget the idle talking. This is what they had both came here to do.
They went at it for barely a minute before she pulled away. Pete didn’t know if he felt more confused as to why she had moved away, or annoyed that such a pleasurable feeling had been so short.
“What happened? Did you not want me to kiss you?”
“It isn’t that. If I hadn’t wanted you to, I would have slapped you before you even got close. I just want you to know that I’m not looking for anything serious right now. I just want to have fun and enjoy college.”
When Diana had said she didn’t want a relationship, it had bothered him so much that he refused to kiss her anymore that night. Now though, he was surprised to see that this didn’t bother him at all.
“That is fine. I can get used to that.”
Pete knew he had changed. Past experiences had made him change his view on relationships. Here was Faith, a beautiful girl at his university, but he didn’t want anything more than to kiss her. He didn’t want to have to take her to dinner or oblige some time for her every day. He just wanted to make out every once and a while to calm his nerves.
Being with Maria had made him wary of trying to start a relationship with someone who wasn’t interested. Having casual sex with Diana had made him more open to just fooling around. Losing Kate had made him realize he didn’t want to fall for a girl just to be hurt when he was still so young and could afford to be reckless with women.
No, this year would be different. This year he would take advantage of his looks. For too long he had viewed relationships like a man looking for a wife. No not again. This year, he would have fun.
“Nope, that ain’t a problem at all for me,” he said as he kissed Faith once more under the monkey bars.